hope·ful [hohp-fuhl] adjective
promising advantage or success.
spin·ster [spin-ster] noun
a woman still unmarried beyond the usual age of marrying.
How it all began...
Being a single woman in my 30’s, I am definitely aware that I am beyond the average marrying age, which currently stands at 27 in the U.S. I’ve been in 6 weddings. I get it. However, I would NEVER consider myself to be a spinster. Spinsters are old, have 9 cats, wear muumuu’s, watch soaps all day, use butt paste and have resigned themselves to the fact that they will always be single. I am NOT a spinster. I am simply a confident woman that has not yet settled down to marry and procreate. That’s it. And then I went to an audition that changed it all...
It was for one of my FAVORITE new comedies- UP ALL NIGHT. I was thrilled! I initially read for the role of “pregnant woman.” After what I deemed to be a successful audition, I confidently walked out of the building and across the lot. “Heather! Heather!” I heard from a panting assistant. “They want you to come back and read another part.” “Wow! That doesn’t happen very often,” I thought. I excitedly followed the assistant back into the building. “So, which role do they want me to read for?” His reply: “Hopeful spinster.” Even at hearing this, I thought, “yeah, let’s do this!” I walked into the room and, as they were thanking me for coming back, the writer, a beautiful blonde in her 30’s, quickly chimed in: “I’m sorry for the title of the character. I wrote it with myself in mind, actually.” I chuckled and said, “well, I suppose I am a hopeful spinster, so no worries here.” And I meant it. I also knew that the role of “hopeful spinster” was mine. And 2 days later, it was.
I jokingly told everyone about my upcoming role. The knee-jerk reactions were all the same: “you’re not a spinster! You're too young!” Well, not quite. As I read the dictionary definition, I did fit the bill AND I am hopeful that I will meet someone. So, rather than fight my hopeful spinster-ness, I chose to embrace it. Of course, hopeful spinsters are not loners. They’re hopeful. They need to surround themselves with fellow hopeful spinsters. So I sought out to do just that. The day before I shot UP ALL NIGHT , I had coffee with my friend Dellany, a dear friend of similar age and optimism. As I comically told her my character’s name, she excitedly proclaimed, “Well, I’m a hopeful spinster too!!!” I knew I’d found my partner in crime. Thus, 2 Hopeful Spinsters was born.
2 Hopeful Spinsters are
Heather Olt (left) & Dellany Peace (right)
Hi,gals! I love your blog and the thoughtfulness about being single. I posted this today on my facebook timeline: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/roiphe/2012/02/sex_and_the_single_girl_why_american_culture_is_still_so_scared_by_single_people_.html?fb_ref=sm_fb_like_chunky&fb_source=timeline
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Indeed, interesting. Where I get pressured, is at work - by coworkers (not my current job!). And I quote, "Why aren't you married?" "Don't you want kids?" "You need to stop playing around and get serious about settling down" Uh-huh. I blow off these people with a smile and walk away - because like the honeybadger, I don't give a shit.
However, I'll answer these questions for you: a) I have a great life w/fantastic friends. And for the most part, I get what I want because I make it happen through effort. I'm not religious, I don't want children, I keep my word (if I say I'm committed to seeing only you, then mister, I really am), and there's not an awesome tax break that I'm aware of from the government. So, logically, I would not marry. b) Kids. That's a choice. I chose no. c) Uh-huh. Well, it's just my rock'n roll lifestyle keeps me so busy screwing around at my professional career 60 hrs/week, plus my part-time job (the one I've worked along w/a full-time job going on 12 yrs), running half marathons, volunteering, traveling the world, not watching tv (going on 4 yrs now), MBA in 1.5 yrs w/3.7 gpa, spending time at the library, dating many very lucky boys, baking, hosting personal finance classes for friends, relearning French, riding bikes, watching friends pets, spending time w/friends, etc. If I "settled down," well, then that just wouldn't be fair to everyone else. I would likely get all bored, have pent up energy, and take over the world. See? It could get ugly, real fast when I'm not distracted with a variety of things. April, I do believe I'll post this on the spinster site :)
Love this article!!! We will definitely share it in a post!!! Thanks for reading!!!
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